Manic Depression

I dunno why I'm feeling blue for a couple of days. I'm so depressed from the last week. And suddently something has happened to me.

A month full of works, sleep late at the morning, stay at the office to finish the job, listening to moody songs might be made me so depressed. I never felt like this before. I miss my mom so much, miss my old city, miss my childhood and the worst is I want to die young.. hahhaa. No, I won't committed suicide. That's a stupid thing.... But I feel it would be good if I die young (and my friends get mad when I said about that).

Because of this panic attack, I've done something that I never done again for past 3-4 years. I start smoking again.. yes... smoking...Oh gosh.. All my friends look at me in a strange eyes, and said.. "Are you stressed? and depressed?"

"You are a moron, because of that you smoking again?..." a sms from my friend.
"I don't wanna see you like this, I don't quite like it..", another sms comes to my inbox.

I think I'm still in this mood for a couple next week later. There are 2 movies that haven't finished yet. And more will come...

Oh I'm smoking again...past